I found a couple of my old journals in the the garage today. As I carried them into the house to read, I could feel my heart beating in my throat. It's amazing the physical reactions your body can have to memories that you've tucked away, blocked out, or hidden. These journals carried stories of a dark time. A consistently dark time of frustration, confusion, and hopelessness. So much sadness between pages...I couldn't make it through them so I closed them up and tucked them away because today is marked for celebration.
Back when those journals had been freshly written, I was a broken person. Taught to think that I was broken, unhealthy, and less than whole. I was struggling to survive and the fight was leaving me. Never ever in those days would I have believed that my life would be so completely whole and abounding with love. Never in those days would I have imagined life as sweet and beautiful. Never in those days would I have believed that I would be in a genuinely equal and healthy relationship as a spouse and a mother to the ultimate gift I've ever been given.
Tomorrow is our "Gotcha Day". The day that we celebrate us becoming a forever family. The day we adopted our daughter as our very own. This will be our 3rd "Gotcha Day" celebration. This tiny baby is now almost 2 and a half. :)
It has been a remarkable journey...somedays the adrenaline alone was enough to keep us running for days. The fear, the excitement, the love...I am honored that the universe, God, in all of glory has given to me this baby girl. She is a fiercely strong and courageous woman wrapped up in that tiny 2 year old body and I could not have imagined a greater life than to be part of her life and to be one of her moms.